


Potion of Love Lost

by linatrinch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A little pining, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Fluff, M/M, Sick Character, demiromantic Poe, very confused Finn, witch!Poe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 13:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12583236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linatrinch/pseuds/linatrinch
Summary: After Poe's heart is broken, he takes a potion to ensure that he'll never fall in love and make himself so vulnerable to pain again. Enter Finn, who shouldn't be able to throw a wrench into this situation but somehow manages to do it anyway. Maybe it's because Poe didn't read the fine print on that recipe...Another witch fic. Happy Halloween!





	Potion of Love Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Well here's your second annual Halloween fic. I started it on the 1st if that tells you how busy I've been. Anyway, I wanted to continue my last Halloween fic but couldn't really figure out how to go about it, so this was born instead. That's why I'm doing witches again, lol.
> 
> A note on the problematicness in here. I realize that the beginning parts of this fic make it sound like a/demi-romantic is something “unnatural” but I want you to know starting off that it's bullshit and the fic pretty much ends with that being known as bullshit. I intentionally wrote Poe as demi-romantic, something that I personally identify as (if I'm not totally ace but labels). I also intentionally wrote the potion's spell as kind of ambiguous. Did it really do what it said it could? Or was it a more of a placebo effect, minus the built-in Finn tracker? Anywho, I just wanted to address it up front.
> 
> Above all, I hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween! If you don't celebrate it, be safe and happy anyway. ♥

Poe Dameron's life had recently gotten very very complicated. Which was strange in and of itself, because he didn't _do_ complicated. He very purposely did not do complicated. No internal drama, no family conflicts, and no relationship squabbling. His thing about relationships and _complications_ was perhaps more strict than most, though.

See, his first breakup didn't go too great. He had _loved_ Muran. Yes, they were in high school at the time, but Muran was old enough to maybe _not_ make out with Karé at a party while he and Poe were going steady. As it turned out, Muran had been just playing around with their relationship when Poe had taken it seriously. He was the first guy Poe ever dated, after all. It was a big thing for him. Muran didn't see it the same way. They had a fight, a harsh breakup, and Poe had gone to handle the situation the way any high schooler could think to do when the world was falling apart. Or maybe Poe as a teenager was more dramatic than a diva but _either way_ -

His maternal grandmother had been a pretty powerful witch. When she died, she left every little magical thing in her arsenal to Poe since Shara had already passed before then. He had the blood and a touch for the magic, supposedly, but he never looked hard enough into using it. It was simply too tempting to cheat at tests and sports and _love_ , not to mention that the last thing he needed was some sort of charm for his good looks. People didn't have to tell him; he knew he was vain about it. So after Muran was when he first broke into the pile of hierlooms. It took nearly a day to find what he was looking for and about two weeks to prepare it.

_**Potion of Love Lost; or, a permanent solution for the brokenhearted** _

_To alleviate symptoms of love, lovesickness and the depression that follows. A warning to all who would try, this recipe is intended for the extreme cases only as it has only an extreme effect on your target. One dose would completely and utterly destroy all feelings of eros, the love of passion and romance, for the target until the end of their life while all other feelings of love (storge, phillia, agape) may yet persist. The potion only takes effect with the magic of the target's own wants and consent, therefore it cannot be used for malicious intent. The potion's spell cannot be broken except in the most rare of situations.* ONLY TAKE THIS POTION UNDER THE MOST DIRE OF CIRCUMSTANCES. Love is a gift for all mankind. Do not squander further chances of love if there is yet still hope._

_Ingredients: one pinch of eagle down feathers (any eagle will do), fleck of gold leaf or one nugget of gold no bigger than a pin head, dried and ground frog's heart, a strand of the target's hair (a cutting of one nail may substitute, do not use both), ten drops of rose oil*, a whole passion fruit for taste (this ingredient is optional, do not use any other substitute)._

_Step One:_

His dad had been gone for a work conference one weekend, so Poe finally had the entire kitchen to himself once he collected his ingredients (which was an interesting story for another time but could probably be summed up with _ebay_ ). Once it was all said and done, though, and his mixture sat waiting for him in a coffee mug, the distraction of making the potion in the first place had seemed to help with his problem already. It took about an hour for him to decide that the potion was for the best in the long run so that he would never have to go through such a thing again and another thirty minutes to actually drink the _horrid_ mixture of disgusting crap he'd created.

He hadn't felt any different, though. He was suddenly more annoyed than hurt by what Muran had done but that was all. Though, in true fashion, he hadn't fell in love again.

It wasn't a big deal, really. He still loved his friends and family and daydreamed occasionally about adopting kids when his bank account was a little more stable. When he was a younger man, he often dreamed of having someone to hold close on cold nights or kiss in between laughter or any of that gooey nonsense. But that was before the potion and all of those wants just vanished for the most part. There were times when he regretted the potion but not over all, really. Things were _better_ this way even if he had done it as an impulsive teenager. Seeing the problems his friends had in their love lives just reinforced that idea, even if he often ignored all of their successes in love at the same time.

So nearly twenty years after he chugged down that potion was when complications finally began to arise. Well just one complication. One very Finn shaped complication.

Finn had just moved into town from Vermont to finish up grad school and (wouldn't you know it) he happened to be old friends with Rey, who Poe had met when she took her engineering internship at the plant he worked at. They couldn't shut up about engines and cars around each other, so they of course became fast friends and, of course, Rey expected for himself and Finn to hit it off just the same.

Only it didn't really work out that way.

“I'm Finn,” the other man had said, extending his hand when Rey had gathered the three of them together at a sandwich shop. “Poe, right? Rey's told me a lot about you. It's good to meet you.”

Poe felt like he had been plunged underwater and was hearing everything through an echo chamber. He blinked hard and shook his head, blaming allergies for the feeling in his ears, and laughed it off. “That's right. Poe Dameron,” he answered with his signature charming smile. “Good to meet you, too, Finn.” He took the other man's hand to shake it, and a shiver ran up his spine, his hands suddenly feeling like ice. His breath stuttered in his chest, and he thought for a brief second that he might get sick. His vision went dark around the edges, the entire world fuzzy except for Finn who stood there in something akin to high definition and a slightly worried look on his face.

What in the fuck was going on?

“Poe?” He jumped, startled at Rey's voice, totally forgetting that she was there at all. “You all right? You look pale.”

“I'm-” Poe blinked hard again, and the world suddenly looked like as it always had. His breath eased in and out of his chest and the cold chill was gone. He shook his head and smiled. “Sorry. I'm all right. Been fighting allergies lately and had a rough morning.” This was a lie, but he turned his smile back to Finn all the same in an attempt to reclaim the first impression. To his relief, nothing _weird_ happened again. “Sorry about that, buddy. Anyway, Rey tells me you managed to land a job at the library?”

Finn's worried frown changed into a hesitant smile which quickly morphed into a much bigger smile as the conversation took off.

Poe felt weak the rest of the day.

The next time they ran into each other (Rey wanted to treat them to lunch again, and Poe wasn't going to say no to free food), the same chill shot up Poe's spine when his eyes met Finn's. His knees were weak, the room spun a little, and his face was a hot.

This was _not_ normal, but Poe decided to test a theory. No one noticed that anything was wrong with him, so he sat beside Finn, brushed shoulders, and they all just talked their way through the meal. As Poe suspected, the chill would reappear when he and Finn touched and it was much worse with skin contact. When their eyes met, when Finn would laugh, the one time Finn bit his lip, it all did really weird stuff to Poe that no one else had ever managed to do before.

So now, days later, Poe was avoiding both Finn and Rey while scrambling to figure out what exactly Finn was doing to him. Thus is where the complications began. Rey did not like being ignored if her copious amount of texts meant anything. He did feel bad about it but he couldn't just tell her the truth. And besides, she was talking about how he had left _Finn_ hanging after _he_ flirted with him, and that's just completely off the topic. No such thing happened, right?

Anyway, it was the flirting comment that made the thought come to mind. Could this be about the potion somehow? Though it didn't really make any sense. Why would it have anything to do with romantic love when that was something Poe couldn't feel in the first place? There had been a couple of times in the past where others (friends with benefits, both times) admitted to having deeper feelings for him. Nothing like this had happened then, so one sided affection was off the table if Finn _had_ felt that literally the moment they laid eyes on each other for the first time. So Finn didn't seem to be having any reaction, yet Poe was about to melt or puke every time they ran into each other. But what was it?

Could Poe be feeling something for Finn? That would be impossible, wouldn't it? He hadn't felt anything like that since Muran. It couldn't be about the potion. It had to be a side effect of something else.

It was when Poe was digging through the cardboard box filled with his grandmother's old stuff that his phone rang. Without looking at the ID, he answered it and belatedly hoped it wasn't Rey. “Yeah?” Where was that book?

“ _Poe?_ ”

He jerked, the box tipping over and scattering the contents across the floor. The good news was that he finally found the book. The bad news was that his finger tips felt numb. “Finn!?” He absently remembered trading numbers the last time they had met up.

“ _Hey, uh_ ,” Finn cleared his throat and didn't seem bothered if Poe was making an ass of himself again, “ _Rey's been pretty worried about you these last few days. Everything good?_ ”

“Yeah!” His voice came out shrill and annoying. Poe coughed and tried again. “Yeah, I'm great. Just, uh-” He was flipping through the book like mad, still sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, completely disregarding the table of contents. “Just been busy, buddy. Big project at work is all. I've been meaning to text her back. It's nothing big.”

“ _You sure? I mean, you sound all-... I don't know. You just sound like you're coming down with something._ ”

“Oh no,” he said with a fake laugh, going through the book backwards this time. “No, no. I get sick pretty often.” That wasn't true. If he did get sick, he'd just whip up a potion and be done with it before anyone knew. He just hoped Finn didn't ask Rey about his health. “But I've been doing fine lately. It's probably, like, the phone... or... something...” Where was the spell? Why couldn't he find it? Was this even the right book? Son of a bitch, how was he expected to remember a book from that long ago?

“ _Oh_ ,” and now Finn was laughing and Poe wanted to hit his head against the wall. Now his hands were hot and this was annoying and where was that recipe? “ _That's good, then. Rey was getting me all worried, too. I'm sorry to bother you since you've been so busy._ ”

“No, no, I'm not busy right now, buddy.” Foot, meet mouth. But how else was he supposed to explain his admittedly weird attitude? “I'm not even really doing anything. Just hanging out at the house, ya know? Taking it easy. Your call just caught me by suurrr- Found you!”

“ _Um-_ ”

“Sorry, I've, uh-” Poe gave another awkward and terribly fake laugh. “I've just been looking for this, ah- this, um... recipe for, um, dinner and, uh, I just-”

“ _You found it_.”

“I found it, yes.”

Why did Finn sound so amused over this? “ _I'm pretty handy in the kitchen, you know. I know loads of recipes if you ever have problems._ ”

“This is one of my grandmother's, actually,” Poe said absently, skimming through it for the first time in almost two decades. “She left me a lot of books... Um... Why in the fuck is there an asterisk?”

_The potion's spell cannot be broken except in the most rare of situations.*_

“ _Any recipe with an asterisk sounds a little too pretentious for me._ ”

“Shit,” Poe replied softly. Why in the fuck was there an asterisk and why in the hell was he just now noticing it? “I can't help but agree, buddy. Took me awhile to make it last time.” He skimmed to the bottom of the page, finding a very small footnote in fine print that he _absolutely_ did not read before because he would have definitely remembered this nonsense.

_*The only magic that can break this potion's spell, as with any spell, is true love's kiss. A single person has many true loves but the situation is a rare and often once in a lifetime occurrence. To ensure that the spell can be reversed, rose oil is added to the ingredients so that the target may know when one of their many true loves are near. If these effects are undesirable, leave out the rose oil in the recipe._

“ _Yeah? Well, if you're trying again then it must be worth it, right?_ ”

“Oh, shit,” he replied softly. The rose oil. The fucking rose oil. That was the only damn thing he didn't have trouble tracking down, except for the fucking passion fruit that he was too cheap to buy after the shipping on the fucking gold fucking leaves- _Fuck_. True love? That's bullshit! That's nonsense! That doesn't exist! “I don't think it's really worth it if I'm being honest with you.”

“ _Then what are you doing?_ ”

Holy shit, what _was_ he doing? “I have to go.”

“ _Are you sure everything's okay?_ ”

“Oh, yeah, everything's terrific,” Poe was saying while he tried not to panic or break anything else of his grandma's stuff as he dumped all of the contents back in the box sans the book. “Everything's great, buddy. I'm just, uh, not busy cause I said I wasn't busy but I am kinda busy-”

“ _Yeah, no, it's okay. I hear you._ ” There was an awkward laugh on the other end that also sounded fake but why would he need to fake any laughs at all? Poe's stomach dropped and he didn't know if it was the potion or genuine worry. “ _Hey, uh, I was wondering if we could... talk? Not right now, obviously, but like some other day when no one's busy or something. I just wanted to clear the air, um, ya know._ ”

No, he did not know, and now Poe was frozen over a box that smelled like moth balls. “What's wrong?”

“ _No, nothing! Nothing's wrong. I just-... You know what, never mind. It's no big deal. I think it's all in my head anyway. I'll let you go. Talk to you later, Poe!_ ”

“Finn! Wait, I-!”

The call dropped.

Poe could have thrown the box across the room. Then again, this wasn't his grandmother's fault. This was all on him. “Stupid fucking rose oil!”

* * *

Finn tapped his cell phone against Rey's counter-top. She had watched the whole one-sided exchange from across the bar with rapt attention, but was now just sitting there with a frown. “What did he say? Did he say no?”

“I chickened out,” Finn muttered, frowning down at this phone before groaning and closing his eyes. “Rey, I think you're full of it. He's not into me.”

“That's not what you thought the other day,” she argued, and he couldn't help but agree. “Poe was all over you!”

Finn couldn't deny that he was. Poe sat so close, brushed their hands together at nearly every chance he could find, kept making eye contact, kept saying ridiculous things to make him laugh, the signs were all there!

When Rey was way too eager for him to meet her friend, he had guessed early on that she was trying to set them up. One look at Poe and half a conversation had Finn agreeing wholeheartedly with that plan. He was intelligent, funny, polite, charming, and stunningly beautiful. They carried on a conversation like they had been old friends. Then the second meeting happened, and Finn had thought his affections were being returned.

Not so likely anymore. Poe was avoiding them. Finn had assumed or maybe even hoped that the man was just busy. He did work for a big company, after all, and was pretty high up the ladder from what Finn could tell. But after that phone call? After being not busy and busy?

But he didn't think Poe was doing it to be mean. “He's trying to let me down easy, I think,” Finn said aloud.

Rey scoffed. “Oh, that's bull. I haven't seen him date anyone since I've met him. Then he starts practically climbing you like a tree and now he suddenly has cold feet? No, he's just shy.”

“ _Rey_ , are you even sure he's into men?”

“We talked about sexuality once so, yeah, he's definitely a sausage kind of guy.”

“Why do you have to say it like that?”

Odesza's White Lies filled Rey's kitchen, and Finn nearly broke his wrist trying to answer his phone as Poe's name flashed on the screen. “Hel-” He stopped to clear his throat. “Hello?”

“ _Heeey, buddy_ ,” the voice on the other end sounded almost overly casual. “ _Actually, something else kinda came up, and I was wondering if you had a minute so we could talk?_ ”

Oh. _Oh. OH!_ He waved his free arm over the counter and looked wide eyed at Rey. “Yeah, of course I have time to talk! What's up, man?”

Rey had a big smile on her face and was bouncing in her chair, her hands slapping a rhythm against the counter.

“ _It might be asking too much_ ,” Poe continued, “ _but can you come over? I live about fifteen minutes outside of town. I get it if you've got something going on. It's no big- Well, it's- It's fine if you can't._ ”

Finn was on the verge of a heart attack. “I can come over.” Rey mimed screaming while Finn bit his lip, trying not to smile too hard. “Just text me your address. I have nothing else going on today. You sure I'm not intruding?” Why did he ask that? Why did he fucking ask that? Rey was pulling a finger across her neck to signify how much he shouldn't have asked that.

Poe, thank goodness, just laughed. “ _Nah, man. I'm the one inviting you._ ” There was an awkward pause that ended with a small cough on the other end. “ _Um, anyway, yeah. Yeah, I'll send a text. Um-... Right, yeah, okay, I'll see you soon!_ ”

“Yeah, definitely. See you soon.” This time, Finn waited for Poe to hang up first. _Then_ he let out a deeply held breath. “Oh man, Rey. I'm screwed.”

“You can do it. And no, I'm not going with you.”

He groaned just as the text came in.

* * *

After scouring through effects of rose oil and ways to reverse the spell, Poe realized that he had very few options available to him. Well, four options.

Option One: Kiss Finn so that the potion would negate itself, then punt Finn out of his house like a football and make a new potion _without_ the fucking rose oil.

Option Two: Kiss Finn, negate the potion, and attempt living with the consequences.

Option Three: Do absolutely nothing with the potion and avoid Finn for the rest of his life.

Option Four: Tell Finn everything.

Four was hilarious. Three was too optimistic. Two was just down right depressing considering all the pain he went through the last time he found himself in love. One was just plain stupid. So option one it was.

As he watched Finn pulled up the long drive way leading to Poe's house, he debated on how the hell he was going to approach this. Should he just run up there and totally assault the poor guy? No, that was _really_ stupid. Talking first, maybe. But what could he possibly say? How could he lead this conversation to a kiss without hurting Finn's feelings, without leading him on? Maybe the whole kissing plan was stupid in the first place. That's it. He was acting too rashly. This was all because he panicked. Things weren't _that_ bad, after all. Nothing needed to be _fixed_. Except the constant reminder of the tug deep in his gut kind of hurt more than just in a physical sense. It was a reminder of what he couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't have. So what if Finn was his _true love_ or whatever? That didn't mean things would work out. All it guaranteed was both of them getting hurt. Shit, he was scared. He was terrified. He was a fucking coward. Oh, he's hyperventilating.

“Hey, what's that?”

Poe jumped and threw the book he was still holding on to a small table by the window. “Nothing,” he answered quickly, opening the screen door. “Sorry, buddy. I think I zoned out for a minute.”

“You sure you're all right?” Finn asked, concerned, as he took the opportunity to step inside of Poe's home.

And sure enough, Poe got tunnel vision, chills, the fucking works just looking at him. This was going great so far. “Yeah, I'm good,” he lied, probably pretty obvious about it. “I'm, uh-... Hmm.”

Finn's worried face stayed put. “Poe?”

“I need to talk to you,” he began without even being a good host about it. Maybe ask if he'd like to sit down, take him to another room, ask if he's thirsty, how's he been, how's work- “It's a, uh- It's a really stupid question. Can I- Can I ask you something, just, honestly, just, as friends, you know?”

“Sure,” Finn said with an even more pronounced frown.

Poe looked him in the eyes, determined to do this, not even sure what he should actually do. _Just ask to kiss him, Dameron_. But that wouldn't work. That would be a really stupid thing to ask. Maybe- maybe drinks first? Maybe-? Or maybe-? Could he? “Finn, I-” Oh, fuck it. “I'm a witch.”

Finn stared blankly back at him and blinked once.

“Okay, you don't believe me. That's fair. I should have expected that. Well, I _did_ expect that. I mean, the plan wasn't to talk about _that_. It was to talk about stuff that's going on _because_ of that, but I can't really get all into it unless you know all of the details. And I did kind of plan to just dive in without disclosing all those details, but I'd feel like a jerk whether it worked or not and it's just not fair to you, you know? So you're going to think I'm crazy or lying or being a jerk anyway and you're going to leave and I'm never going to see you again and, I mean, that does actually solve _one_ of my problems, but the overarching issue is still pretty pertinent-”

“Poe, what the hell are you talking about?”

He took a deep breath and used both hands to push the hair out of his face. “I'm a witch. And- And I can prove it-” Poe held his hand out and his grandmother's recipe book flew into his hand. “-with this book!” He held it up proudly for Finn. “When I was a kid, I took a potion recipe out of here and now it's finally starting to screw with me and-” He was interrupted as he heard the screen door close and looked up to see Finn out on the porch.

Oh. Right, yeah. He just- Well-

Poe hummed to himself and looked down accusingly at the book against his chest before hugging it to himself. Great. That went- That went great.

The front door swung open again as Finn stepped back inside, wide eyes only making contact with the floor. “You have _ten seconds_.”

Poe Dameron was hardly the type to waste time so he started babbling almost worse than before. “My mom was a witch and my grandma before her and mom died when I was little so I got all of grandma's stuff but when I was a teenager I had a bad breakup with a guy so I took a potion out of here to make sure I didn't fall for anyone again and your literal presence is making it backfire because I didn't read the fine print and left in the stupid fucking rose oil so all I have to do is either kiss you to break the spell so that I can redo it without the stupid fucking rose oil or I can just-”

“Poe, that was ten seconds.”

“That was _not_ ten-”

“I'm _calling it_ ten seconds! You're not making any sense!”

Poe yelled in frustration and grabbed Finn by the arm, taking him further into the kitchen. “Come here. Come on. Sit down.” Finn fell into the table's chair like dead weight while Poe flipped through the book to find the infamous page he needed before slapping it down in front of Finn. “There, okay, see? That's the potion I took.”

Finn stared down at the book and looked back up to Poe with a half blank and half concerned look. “Man, I think you need help.”

“ _Finn_ ,” Poe whined and groaned and racked his brain. “You want me to prove it to you? I can prove-”

“No!” Finn sat up straight and pushed himself away from the table and book. “No, you do _not_ need to prove it. I- I shouldn't be here. Why am I here? It's getting late. Wow, look at the time. Holy crap. It's almost dark.”

“Okay, okay, okay-” Poe stopped, _really_ stopped, and took a deep breath. He had to get serious. He had to calm down. But _why?_ Finn leaving would fix it so why even try? He pushed the intruding questions aside and looked Finn in the eye. “Ten seconds? No, five seconds. Just five seconds. Please.”

Finn looked him over and even eyed the door for half a second before relenting with a quick nod and deep breath. He still looked confused, worried, and like he was willing to run at any second, so Poe allowed himself to take a seat at the table, too. He wasn't entirely sure where to start but rambling nonsense and just hoping hadn't worked. “Magic passes down family lines,” he began simply. “Sometimes it skips a few generations and pops up randomly, but everyone on my mom's side has had it for as long as they can recount. We keep our stuff out of the public eye as much as possible since it's been kept secret this long. We know that what we have could be used for too many ulterior motives. So we don't... tell anyone. But we exist. Magic exists. I-” He didn't really know where else to go with this. Poe turned his hand palm down over the tablecloth and moved outward, unraveling the edge a little for Finn's proof and a little for his nerves. “I'm not lying to you. I'm not dangerous. It's not the devil's work or whatever. It's just something I've always had. I've never really used it much, though, not in any big way.” He brushed his hand over the tablecloth again, righting what he'd just frayed.

He could feel Finn's eyes on him but didn't bother making a move to actually look at the other man. He didn't know what to do at this point. After a second's pause, Finn finally spoke up. “If all that's true, then why are you telling me now?”

“Because I need your help,” he said honestly, looked back at Finn. The other looked less concerned and more wary, more distrustful, but at least he looked more serious than before. _Please don't turn this into my stupid mistake. Please let me trust you._

Finn looked at the tablecloth and back to Poe. “Why would a- a _witch_... need my help?”

He didn't believe him, even now, and that was fair. Though Poe didn't really know where to begin with that question. “Because-... Because I took a potion when I was a teenager that would prevent me from falling in love for the rest of my life.” Finn frowned harder, tilting his head to the side. “I got my heart broken and I might have gone a little far with it, but-... Well, the problem now is that I think that I... like you. And that's... not supposed to happen.”

“Are you playing with me?” Finn immediately asked, clearly angry. “This isn't funny.”

“No, I'm not lying.” Poe was somehow not above begging for Finn to understand, to know that this wasn't some elaborate ploy. Maybe he had started caring more than he thought at some point. “I know how it sounds, believe me. I gain nothing and lose a lot by lying to you about this, Finn. Telling you the truth has me losing a lot, too, actually. Look, I-” Should he just tell Finn to leave? To laugh it off and face the consequences? It would fix things but it wouldn't-... He didn't want that. “How can I prove it to you?”

“I don't know,” Finn answered honestly. He looked at the tablecloth again and finally looked at the book. He seemed to be reading, and Poe just waited with bated breath. “You never told me how I'm supposed to help you... Or why you even _need_ help.”

Poe grimaced. “There's been... side effects. Like the spell from the potion is trying to counteract my feelings but it doesn't know how anymore and it keeps making me... I don't know, sick or something. Weird.” He didn't like where this was going at all. It felt too clinical now, too stifled. He hated it. “Liking you isn't the problem. The side effects are. But I need you to break the potion's spell so that it'll stop.”

Finn didn't ask how and instead kept reading until his eyes found the bottom of the page. “True love's kiss,” he said aloud, unimpressed.

“You still don't believe me.”

“ _How_ am I supposed-” Finn groaned and leaned forward on the table, face falling into his hands. After a beat, he turned his head away, eyes still closed and face pinched, rubbing his palm over his close cropped hair.

It occurred to Poe in that moment that he had hurt Finn. The whole thing sounded like a fabricated lie just to play with his feelings, just to betray him somehow, much like what Muran had done to him so long ago, like what drove him to take that potion in the first place. The magic he'd done in front of Finn could be explained away somehow, all of it probably could if one was disbelieving enough, and taking the chance to believe Poe's story was really putting his feelings on the line. He finally realized that much. “Finn,” he sighed and waited until the other man looked at him again. “I like you a lot. You don't have to believe me about any of it, clearly, but I need your help. I _want_ your help. I just... need to ask you to... take a chance on me.” He made himself stare into Finn's eyes, watched as his vision tunneled, the color drained from the world, and his hearing plunged beneath the ocean again.

A spark shot up his arm, and he jumped only to realize that Finn's fingers had lightly brushed against his palm. His movement didn't break the contact, so Poe stayed where he was, feeling ice spread out from the center of his hand. He couldn't decide if it was horrible or amazing.

“What kind of side effects?” Finn asked, still frowning, but not angry anymore.

Poe thought he was pretty strong in that moment and sighed. “Tunnel vision, chills, fever, ears ringing, nausea, vertigo-” He stopped himself and just tried to breathe, tried to think with Finn touching him like that before adding softly, “Just all kinds of stuff.”

“Prove it,” Finn asked just as softly, not accusingly, and it was clear that he meant the magic.

Poe looked up at him to find him curious, less wary or afraid. “How?”

Finn shrugged and glanced down to their joined hands.

Whatever he did, he didn't want to absolutely freak the other man out. Yet the things he had just done weren't enough proof for him either. Poe turned in his seat to take both of Finn's hands in his (his lungs turning to ice while he was at it) and thought for a moment longer before holding out his fist, palm up, and opened it in a flourish. A bright red flame roared to life in his palm before it gently lessened a blue flicker of fire. “How much are you willing to trust me?” he asked Finn, holding out his hand and his blue flame.

Instead of answering, likely because he wasn't sure of the answer himself, Finn held out his hand, too. Poe gently deposited the flame into Finn's palm and held his hand in both of his to hold him steady. “Now don't drop it,” he muttered, wondering belatedly how wise it was to do this with the way Finn made him feel.

One glance up at the other man showed a face of pure wonder and awe. It looked like Finn finally believed him, even if he was still probably trying to rationalize it. “It's so warm,” he whispered quietly. “How? How is it-?”

Poe licked his lips and thought on the question. “It's sort of about gathering the energy around and within you. There's science to it, too. Friction, temperature, air flow.” He still talked softly, though, unwilling to ruin the moment. “I don't do stuff like this often. Don't really have much of a need to set random fires, you know? Plus with all the technology lately I can just tell my tv to come on and it'll listen without any magic required.”

Finn barked a quiet if almost wild laugh. “What do I-...?”

“Here.” Poe slowly closed his hand over Finn's, the fire spreading from around his hand until it dissipated into sparks and vanished. Poe only realized after the fact that he was now grasping Finn's hand but he didn't exactly let go either.

Instead he looked up to Finn who hadn't looked away from their joined hands and had quite the thoughtful expression on his face. “So,” Finn asked, not even looking up to him, “what exactly happens if I kiss you?”

Poe could have gulped but took a deep breath and licked his lips instead. “The symptoms would stop,” he answered, biting his bottom lip. “The potion's spell would be broken, too. So... I could fall in love again, theoretically.”

“And I'm your... _true love_?” Finn asked, glancing back up and pinning Poe would a stare that tore right through him. “What does that mean?”

He stared for as long as he could, as long as he _dared_ , before breaking eye contact to look at their hands and just breathe. “I don't really know,” Poe admitted. “It's like soulmates, if that means anything to you. It's like... a good match, I guess you could say.”

“And what does that mean for us?”

“Us?” Poe met the stare again, probably against his better judgement.

Finn, however, looked undeterred. “Are you doing this to get rid of the symptoms or to get rid of the spell?”

Poe stalled. The longer he stayed silent, the sadder Finn's eyes got. How could he answer that honestly, though? He genuinely didn't know. “I wanted to get rid of the symptoms but I... don't know anymore.” He liked Finn. He liked just about everything about Finn. He just didn't know about anything further than that. Was that the spell or just him? “I like you,” he repeated. “I don't want to hurt you or lie to you, but I don't know what to say. I don't know what I want or how I feel or-” But that's the _stupid_ thing. A few weeks ago, he would have known how he felt without any doubt. It wasn't that, not deep down. “No, I know how I feel.” He _liked_ Finn. _A lot_. “I'm just scared.”

Finn swallowed audibly and stayed quiet for a moment, evidently deep in thought, before eventually speaking up. “Most people are scared about relationships,” he said. “The issue is figuring out if you think it's worth that fear or not.”

“I barely know you.”  
  
“I barely know _you_.”

But Finn was stronger than he was. Everyone was stronger than he was about this... Geez, when did he turn into such a melodramatic sap? “After, when it's over, whatever happens is entirely up to you. I don't want to hurt-”

“It is _not_ up to _me_.”

“Yes, it is! I don't know what to do right now, and I've been hurt before. But I want to try it but I'm scared of trying it but I want to see what could happen and, despite the damn potion, I'm _really_ into you but-”

Finn's hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulled him forward, and their lips met in a shocking embrace. Poe was frozen for barely a moment before his eyes fluttered and he melted.

He had expected some sort of theatrics. Flying objects whizzing by their heads, both of them floating, sparkly translucent glitter shit everywhere, a star _erupting_ in his chest as love flooded through him, violins maybe.

But that didn't happen.

They pulled apart, hardly an inch away, breathing the same air, as Finn looked into his eyes. “Do you feel anything?” he whispered.

Poe wanted to answer him. But he just- He just- He was- “I'm gonna be si-” The words came to an abrupt halt as he got up and fled to the bathroom, hurling into the toilet not a second too soon. The thought of Finn's shock at what kind of magic his fucking _kiss_ possessed just made him dry heave.

“Poe!” Suddenly, the man of the hour was right next to him, hand on the back of Poe's neck again but with a decidedly less sexy twist. “You okay? What hap-?”

Poe groaned. “I think that was the fucking frog heart.”

“The who's what?”

“Nothing. It's nothing-... _Oh_.” He moaned and groaned, sick and mortified, though Finn was kind enough to flush away the evidence without pressing for more questions. For Poe's part, he wasn't ready to trust himself just yet.

Then again, Finn was combing lovely fingers through his hair that just felt _incredible_ so it probably wasn't all bad. “Is this something about the spell?”

Poe nodded, not totally sure but going with that more than plausible theory. “It's getting out of my system,” he guessed.

“Shouldn't you have digested that by now?”

“Why do you have to say _digest_ -?”

“Okay, look, I'm gonna go get the book. Are you good? You're good, right?” Poe answered Finn's question with a half-hearted thumbs up. “Two seconds,” he said and ran away. Poe mostly expected to hear the door close followed quickly by tires squealing out of his driveway. Instead, Finn ran back in with about half a second to spare. He sat the book aside on the counter and put a hand to Poe's forehead. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got steam rolled. By your lips.”

“You are so damn charming,” Finn grumbled, pouring water into a glass and handing it over to Poe. “Here, wash your mouth out. You think it's over?”

He figured that this was all just getting started but opted to not answer the question and just obey the order instead. As he spat up into the toilet again, he thought about how lovely of an evening this had turned out to be. He had gotten his wish. He had broken the spell. He didn't quite get why Finn was still here other than the fact that he was too nice of a person. It all worked, but he still felt mortified, he still didn't know what to do, he still _felt the_ _fucking same_. Poe just groaned again. He felt a cold, wet rag wipe against his forehead and just melted into it, pushing away everything else for the moment. _God_ , that felt good.

“Come on,” Finn muttered, gently tugging Poe out of the bathroom.

Poe, for his part, let him do it. He could feel guilty later, he reasoned, as Finn pushed him down into the couch of his own living room. He fell practically limp and moved the rag over his eyes and just sat there.

The cushions sank beside him, a warm body sitting near him, and the sound of page turning filled the living room. “You believe me yet?” Poe asked, voice a little hoarse.

“I think you've successfully converted me, Dameron,” Finn answered, though he sounded a bit distracted. “Did you really _ingest_ a gold nugget?”

“Used gold leaves, actually.”

“How are you not dead?”

Poe lifted his hands about an inch off of his lap and wiggled his fingers. “Magic,” he answered, flopping his hands back down.

As Finn sighed, Poe couldn't help the giggles suddenly rise out of him. “What?” the other asked, worry clear in his voice. “What's going on now? What are you doing?”

“No, it's just-” Poe paused between laughs to breath and tried again. “God, this is just so damn _romantic_ , I-” He doubled over, near tears with how stupidly funny this all was.

Finn sighed again, flipping through a few more pages as Poe tried to get himself under control. “It doesn't say anything in here about breaking spells other than _how_ to do it. Like seriously, you'd think they'd list side effects or something.”

“I'm fine. I'm fine.” Even to his own ears, Poe didn't particularly sound fine. Just kind of hysterical. He took the rag off of his eyes and wiped at his brow. “This whole thing isn't exactly what I expected.”

“Do you feel any different?” Finn asked, turning to face him fully. “Other than just sick, I mean.”

He glanced over at the other man and really stared at him for a moment. “Huh,” he blinked, carefully looking over Finn's very worried and very serious face. “I don't get nauseated looking at you anymore.”

Finn deflated with a big frown. “Oh gee, Poe, tha-”

Poe picked up Finn's hand and could have giggled all over again with relief. “No chills either. I'm cured!” he joked just to make Finn groan, which worked. Then he... glanced at the book. He could do it all over again, minus the stupid fucking rose oil. (Okay, not tonight because it would probably just come right back up.) He could have all the luxuries of not getting hurt by his own emotions while still enjoying Finn's company without the disgusting pain that goes along with it. He could still do it, but... wouldn't that be selfish? Poe looked back at Finn, wondering what _he_ felt about him, about them. If he already cared for Poe, he'd have to deal with knowing his love would never be returned. Poe would just be passing that heartbreak right along to someone else. Intentionally, even. And, no, Poe didn't feel any different at the moment, but he still liked Finn, he still liked him enough to _want_ something, to second guess the decision.

“What?” Finn asked, eyebrows scrunched together and worry back on his features again.

Poe looked down to the book and then to their clasped hands. “Thinking,” he answered, unsure of what he needed to do right now. The issue was figuring out if they were worth the fear or not, right? Was Finn worth it? Poe cleared his throat. “I, uh-” Fuck, um- “All right, I'll just do it. You wanna go to a movie or something tomorrow night? Or- Or tonight? Tonight's good. Tonight works.”

“You just threw up your guts.”

“Yeah, tonight's probably not gonna work for me, but I'm free tomorrow if you aren't totally repulsed or-”

Finn just chuckled at him. “Are you seriously asking me out on a date not five minutes after that spell was lifted?”

Well, yeah. Sort of. Trying to. Poe rubbed his thumbs over the tops of Finn's hands. “I honestly don't feel any different,” he answered, finally being blunt about his feelings. “Breaking the spell gave me the ability to fall in love again, not just make me instantly fall head over my heels. I still feel the same about you, but even that's pretty... _different_. Special. Warm? I don't know, I'm being stupid. My point is that I'd like to get to know you better to see where those feelings take me, and I'd really like to know if you're up for trying the same thing.”

Finn's bright smile could have made the sun jealous. “I'm up for it.”

“Really?” Poe asked, grin wide, excitement thrumming through him. Maybe this crush thing would be pretty nice.

“Yeah, really,” Finn laughed.

“Kiss me?”

At that, Finn scrunched up his nose and leaned forward to peck Poe on the forehead. He leaned back, clearly trying to gauge the reaction.

Poe went from a blank stare to a sly grin. “I think we're gonna work out _just_ fine.”

A dog barked at their feet, and Finn _screamed_ , his feet darting on to the couch to get off the floor. “ _Poe! That's-!_ ”

“Oh, that's just Beebee,” he waved off the yelling, leaning down to pat his sentient skeleton of a dog on the head. Bee wagged his tail, bones clacking. “Where you been, buddy?” he cooed at the dog. “He's sweet, Finn. He wants to meet you.”

When he looked back up, Finn had one hand on his heart and the other covering his eyes. “Poe, if we're gonna work out just fine, you need to start warning me about witchy stuff.”

“Yeah, I forget sometimes. Don't worry, I got it covered... Uh, does a broomstick count?”

“Broomstick?”

“I called it Black One.”

“You what?”

**Author's Note:**

> BB-8 just kind of pops up there at the end, but I couldn't not do it. Thank you for reading!


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